Magic (The One Left Behind Book 1)

Young Adult

FANTASY:  Frayle and Relek have a strong bond of friendship - Relek has watched out for Frayle his whole life.  When Relek is killed defending his home and his friend, Frayle accidently rends the fabric of time which throws him into the past to correct his mistake.  Given a second chance to save Relek’s life, he’s thrown into a whirlwind adventure.

The story has a fun concept, well written action scenes, and characters that are distinctly personable.  It would have immense potential with the help of better editing.  The biggest problems lie in the technical details.  Words used out of context were a constant problem on every other page, often leaving the reader confused.  Plot holes are big - for example, the story is about finding Relek.  In one situation Nova has a chance encounter with Relek, and then she decides they will keep time jumping to find Relek, which makes no sense.  The conflicts causing the heroes' jump are unfocused.  First they are fighting Savages, then Sen, then Hale, then back to Savages.  The Guardians and The Creator have this long-standing feud but it’s unclear why.  In the prologue the reader is first led to believe Guardians are benevolent and The Creator is evil. This switches back and forth until the middle of the book when it’s finally made clear.

If one can ignore the technical errors, this story reads like a Dungeons and Dragons game campaign.  Readers familiar with this may resonate with this wandering plot storytelling.

Mary B Rose