Stained Script: A Prison Song Story

Aw’struck etuk

CNF:  Readers who have a difficult time excusing unsatisfactory sentence structure will find this tale impossible to navigate. The shallowness of the characters is exacerbated by being told in the first person narrative.  Theres not enough information defining the characters, therefore no ability for a reader to garner emotion.  


The storyline is confusing and hard to follow. The storyteller introduces himself as a part owner of a nutritional health club, a wannabe painter and an author. Hes asked to read a manuscript by a would-be author by the name of Gabriel. The story takes a detour and the lead character witnesses a young girl being run over by a car. End of chapter one.  Some dots have to connect in scenes throughout a story, but the first few chapters are like running through a maze. The next big plot shift comes when the narrator of the tale is taken captive and thrown in a dark cell and snakes are pushed into a hole in the wall. Dialogue is tense and the reader desperately struggles to figure out how the protagonists character is developing, if at all. Theres a story here, but a reader wont be turning any pages with fervor because there is no plot points joining them together. Unfortunately, this novel could not be finished. 

Natasza Waters /Penelope Ann Bartotto